- "Coincidence? I think NOT!"
- —Bernie Kropp
Bernard "Bernie" Kropp (also known as "Teacher" or simply "Bernie") is a character in The Incredibles.
Bernie is Dash's long-suffering teacher. He is often a victim of Dash's practical jokes that Dash plays to drown his frustration of being forbidden to compete in sports. Bernie obviously has claimed millions of times that Dash puts tacks on his chair during class for some reason he does not know because he seems infuriated the last time it happens;
One year when he is forced to teach Dash again he sits on his chair...and on a tack; upon impact he jumps out groaning in pain. He instantly accuses Dash of the prank and sends him to the principle's office to investigate. He eventually suspects that Dash has magic powers, due to his discovery of the incident; his hidden camera caught a blur from Dash's seating to Bernie's chair right before and after the prank; that lasts for about 0.002 of a second. Luckily for Dash, Bernie is dismissed as just being over-reacting and paranoid, namely because the recording didn't record too well his movements. When Dash is absolved of any responsibility to his parents and the school board, in reply Bernie begins throwing a tantrum in the principle's office.
- "Principal: "I appreciate you coming down here, Mrs. Parr."
(Helen looks at Dash)
Helen: "What's this about? Has Dash done something wrong?"
Bernie (pompously): "He's a disruptive influence, and he openly mocks me in front of the class.
Dash (sullenly): HE says."
Bernie: "Look, I KNOW it's you! He puts thumbtacks on my stool."
Helen: "You SAW him do this?"
Bernie: "Well-- not rea-- no. Actually not."
Helen: "Oh. Then how did you know it was him?"
Bernie: "I hid a camera."
(Bernie gets a remote out of his pocket; Dash looks worried;Helen glares at Dash)
Bernie: "And this time I got him."
(Bernie plays the tape; as he is sitting down, a barely distinguishable blur passes between Dash's desk and Bernie's seat)
Bernie: "See? You see?"
Bernie: "Oh, you don't see? (sighs)"
(Bernie plays the tape again, and rewinds it)
Bernie: "He moves! Right there!"
Bernie: "Wait, wait... right THERE! Right as I'm sitting down! I don't know. I don't know how he does it, bu bu but there's no tack on my stool BEFORE he moves, and AFTER he moves, there's a tack! Coincidence? I think NOT!"
(Bernie glares at Helen and Dash)
Principal (gently): "Uh, Bernie..."
(The principal touches Bernie on the shoulder)
Bernie (furiously takes the principal's hand off his shoulder): "Don't 'Bernie' me. (angrily points to Dash) THIS LITTLE RAT IS GUILTY!!"
Principal (resigned, apologetic): "You and your son can go now, Mrs. Parr. I-- I'm sorry for the trouble."
(Shocked, Bernie drops the remote;Helen and Dash leave; once Dash's back is turned, he grins triumphantly)
Bernie: "You're letting him go again?! He's guilty! You can see it on his smug little face!"
(Bernie turns red, throws a tantrum and starts shaking the chair angrily)
Bernie: "GUILTY I SAY!! GUILTY!!"
(Helen closes the door, blotting out his voice)
"GUILTY, GUILTY!! NO!!"
- —Helen visits Dash's school and enters the principal's office.